Misguided
by chaseluv4ever
Summary: Even the best fall down sometimes" ChaseCam set during Act your Age. Songfic to Collide by Howie Day.


It was the ghastly early hours of the morning; maybe three or four, Chase wasn't sure

**AUTHORS NOTES: this is my first attempt at a Chameron fic. I hope you all like it….. : ) It uses the song Collide by Howie Day. It takes place during the episode Act Your Age. Sorry for any typos I will post a beta-ed version soon (it will be beta-ed by the wonderful Chameron4ever my beta for life) WARNING!! Rated T for language **

**DISCLAIMER: wow!! I think I kind of actually need a disclaimer for this, since I took dialogue right out of the episode. So, David Shore congrats on your very successful medical drama. Every last bit of it is yours. Treasure it always : )**

Okay here it is, hope you like it…

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It was the ghastly early hours of the morning; maybe three or four, Chase wasn't sure. He had been in the lab with Cameron all night testing the items from Lucy's home trying to figure out what was wrong with the little girl.

"_Fuck Foreman,_" thought Chase, "_Fuck Foreman for leaving me alone with Cameron._"

Chase and Cameron had no doubt about it had an incredibly long, uncomfortable, and awkward night. The only word they exchanged with one another was, "_negative,_" which had been the answer for all of the tests so far. Whenever Chase tried to say something else to Cameron he would turn and look at her then immediately start to blush, get embarrassed, and turn away. Whenever Cameron tried to say anything to Chase she would turn directly towards him and give him dagger eyes. Then her face would become intense as if she was debating whether or not to say something. So far she had always decided against it so she would swiftly move back to whatever she was doing.

Chase achingly turned his head towards Cameron to see what she was doing. It had been over half an hour since he had heard a negative from her.

Chase had to strain his eyes to make out Cameron's contour against the darkness of the lab due to the lone dim light shining overhead. He was able to see Cameron slouched over on the table her arms spread out in front of her and her head resting between them. Chase decided that Cameron was sleeping. He didn't blame her. He much wanted to do the same.

He saw this as the perfect time to leave the lab. The air was hot and stuffy inside. Chase was feeling tired, chocked up, and nauseated. He needed room to breathe. That was just how he felt physically. Emotionally was a whole other story. He didn't know what to do. He just didn't. Cameron was like a fire burning him to ashes. Starting down at his feet working the way up to his head. But for some reason Chase didn't want to put the fire out.

_The dawn is breaking  
A light shining through  
You're barely waking  
And I'm tangled up in you  
Yeah_

Cameron was awake. She had never been asleep. She just wanted Chase to leave. She needed time alone to think. What had she done to Chase? She thought their relationship was just sex, fun, and nothing more. She didn't realize Chase had thought it was more. She had hurt Chase. She hated hurting people. She was leading the way in their relationship… or lack there of… and she had led Chase right off the top of a cliff.

I'm open, you're closed Where I follow, you'll go

Chase considered Cameron to be a happy person. She was usually smiling. At least she used to always smile at him. But that was when they were just having fun. When Cameron was enjoying her sex.

"_Fuck my own damn self,_" thought Chase. "_Why did it even cross my mind to think that our relationship was actually built on feelings and love? Why did I fucking have to open my mouth about it? I was happy when I thought our relationship was real. Cameron was happy when she though that I though our relationship was just fun and games._"

During that time both Chase and Cameron had been happy. They had both been smiling. That was the way Chase wanted it.

I worry I won't see your face  
Light up again

Chase felt so defeated right now. What was wrong with him? He wanted to start crying. The man was supposed to be the strong one in a relationship. He should have been leading Cameron. But instead he stepped back let Cameron take over his mind body and soul. He knew that was wrong. He knew he had more in him. He should have brought it out. He was confused about everything. He sometimes felt he could barely stand on his own. Yeah, he knew how damn wrong that was. But still Cameron seemed to make it right for him.

_Even the best fall down sometimes_

_Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills my mind  
I somehow find  
You and I collide_

During Chase's current deep train of though he had somehow managed to wonder to the conference room. He walked in a without turning on a light he just let his sensitive body slide down the wall. As he sat slouched down on the floor he wondered if Cameron realized this about him.

I'm quiet you know  
You make a first impression

Cameron thought. She didn't have to end her lack of a relationship so quickly. As she finished thinking she realized she did. She had no true feelings for Chase. He was too weak of a person. Weak beyond the point that Cameron could fix him. Chase had to fix himself. Cameron was scared that Chase really loved her. She didn't expect it. Nor did she really know what to do about it.

I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Cameron was scared for Chase. He was the equivalent of a little boy dying of a terrible disease. He was too the point he would do whatever someone told him to do.

Chase hadn't always been like that. Cameron was doing it to him. She had to stop. It was best for both of them. If she stopped leading Chase down maybe he could pull himself up again.

Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the stars refuse to shine  
Out of the back you fall in time

Chase pulled himself up from the ground. He was surprised he had that much strength left in him. Cameron had taken so much from him. He had given so much of himself to her. Did she know what she had done? Chase had never felt like this before. He had never been this weak before. Cameron was like a drug slowly killing who he was but he didn't want to let go.

I somehow find  
You and I collide

Chase thought of himself as a patient. Addicted to a drug called Allison Cameron. Which was more important, the feeling that came from being with Cameron or his own identity and self-being? Chase knew the answer so damn well but he didn't want to admit it.

Don't stop here

Chase thought… he could still find a way to have Cameron.

No…

I've lost my place

I've lost myself. I can't die inside. I'm stronger then this and I know it. I have to push.

I'm close behind

Chase had to do what he knew was right.

He thought about a drug addict. Recovering drug addicts were supposed to stay away from drugs completely. Chase didn't want to stay away from Cameron. He wanted to be able to talk to her. To be friends with her. To work with her. To smile with her.

He decided that he could do that. He could talk to Cameron. He would just have to put himself first. In his mind he knew that there could be no relationship between them. He had to find the strength within him self to accept that and move on. He knew he could do it. He was strong. He knew it. He knew it. He knew it.

He couldn't help but smile slightly. He had found something within himself. It gave him a feeling of confidence. He'd had that feeling before and knew he'd gotten it back.

He had only temporarily been falling down a cliff after Cameron. But he had stopped himself before he hit the ground. Now he would be able to slowly lower himself down to Cameron. He could be friendly with her. He could talk to her. It would be just like how they were before any of this had happened. That's what he wanted.

Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills your mind  
You finally find  
You and I collide

Cameron finally realized what it was. She was like a drug to Chase, slowly pulling him into her and destroying him from the inside out. But she couldn't help that Chase was addicted to who she was. Cameron was a strong woman and she would never change her identity for anything or anyone.

Cameron realized that it was as if the bottle of her drug had just run out for Chase. He was still experiencing the pain from having taken her but he was no longer getting the good feeling from taking her, since Cameron had just ended their relationship, therefore Chase was no longer taking the Cameron drug.

That wasn't how Cameron wanted it to be. Why couldn't she just have a normal, friendly, pain free relationship with Chase? Collogue to collogue not drug to addict. She realized she could. Chase could recover and if he could initiate the friendship Cameron would gladly go along. She left the lab and went to find Chase.

Chase walked out of the conference room and decided to get some coffee to wake himself up. Then after that he would go back to the lab, gently wake up Cameron, and try to start some friendly conversation with her.

Chase got some quarters from his pocket and began to fumble with the coffee machine. His mind was so set on his plan that he was practically scared into a heart attack when Cameron walked up behind him.

She said, "Don't get the mocha chino, somebody screwed up and put hot chocolate in the dispenser."

"Thank you," said Chase slightly surprised.

Cameron decided to keep the conversation going and see where it went. "You were right," she said, "An eight-year-old kid grabbed my ass. I shouldn't have encouraged him."

Chase liked how the conversation was going. A lot. He continued, "Well, I was a boy once I know how they think," he finished with a laugh.

Cameron looked shocked but there was a slight smile at the corner of her mouth, "You were a pervert at 8?" She gasped.

"Maybe... 11," Chase answered.

They both smiled.

Chase thought to himself "_this is perfect, exactly how I wanted things to go._"

At the same time Cameron thought to herself, "_good, this conversation's going well._"

_You finally find  
You and I collide  
You finally find  
You and I collide_

--

**AUTHORS NOTES: there hope you liked it, a happy ending (sort of) review pretty, pretty, phuleeeeez!!**__


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